One of the most difficult things a person will ever attempt is to find another person to spend the rest of their life with. It is an ancient search and need, and also one of the greatest challenges any individual faces along their life. It might seem, on the surface, that in today´s society finding a partner for life would be simple. Nowadays we, usually, no longer have economic or social barriers stopping people from interacting with each other. However, I maintain that more men today cannot find a girlfriend, and it has to do precisely with this newfound social freedom.

It is never this easy.

This opportunity to choose and this, seemingly, endless choice is exactly part of the problem. In olden times, one need only find someone suitable and akin to one´s social and economic background and needs and the rest was arranged. There is no doubt many people must have led unhappy lives, but on the whole there was no wondering how much love is enough love. The idea of the romantic is attractive, but highly impractical (which is why the best love stories live in stories, not in real life).

Because of this, dating coaches are immensely popular in today´s world. It might surprise some people, but they are even more common among men. Women, being the gender that was recently liberated (in the last 100 years), is still attempting to control the situation but men, because they no longer simply choose but must be chosen in return, find themselves lost at sea.

As with everything else in life there are good and honest people truly trying to share their positive dating experiences with others; just as there are the deceptive and petty. Here we focus on the good and honest, and would like to refer to an interesting corner of the Internet: Organic Seduction. Here, you may find some good and honest advice about dating and getting a girlfriend, in spite of the fact that the name sounds more like a product, it only offers one thing: advice. Good and honest advice.

What kind of advice? For more details you may, of course, refer to the page directly but here we will mention the emphasis made on being honest and true to yourself. Honesty, in this case doesn´t just mean admitting to one what one is and wants, in this case honesty is broken down to simple facts such as always let women know when you are attracted to them.[1] This is an important factor, not just for dating, but for life itself.

Honesty is never hiding.

The more honest one is with others, the better one´s life will be. Never confuse honesty with aggression. Sometimes it seems easier to tactlessly point out other people´s flaws and conveniently forgetting one´s own, but that´s not honesty. Honesty is balance. Honesty is allowing others to see the inner you. It´s also allowing others to get close to you, and accepting that not everyone will want to be close to you.

And this is the essence of Organic Seduction. While you might say that the tone is that of the typical “dating master” who believes himself to be better than others, close examination reveals that the tone is also being honest. Confident and honest people are not afraid to share their experiences, and that is certainly the case in this website. Once this is understood the site is even refreshing. It is exactly what modern times need: men committed to honesty and sincerity. And this, friends, is the only aphrodisiac needed.

Take a close look at the following image. It is, like too many images on the internet today, meant for light hearted fun and amusement. And like too many images on the internet today, it´s easy to rush right by it, sigh a half amused smile and move on with our lives.

For those of you who are not too familiar with Pop culture today, Rambo refers to the main character of the film series with the same name. The many films revolve around the main character defeating an enemy through extensive use of weapons and explosions. This is, as one may call it, a fairly standard action film. Macgyver was a television program that followed the improbable adventures of a US super spy of sorts who had a nack for getting out of trouble with limited supplies (famously a paperclip, a Swiss Army knife and duct tape). Finally, Chuck Norris had recently gained fame for apparently being able to achieve the impossible (such as inmortality, super strength, etc).

Apart from their television and film Pop culture fame, these three characters are defined by one characteristic: at some point they all sufferend intensely in their past. This sets an appropriate mood on screen and motivates the characters beyond what is expected of them. This also is part of what allows them to excell in their field.

Setting the trivia aside I can come to my point: at first glance the image above seems little more than a clever joke about Pop culture. However, after the sigh of laughter fades away, I am inclined to find a more profound meaning.

What do we see in the image? A list of people with their instruments of choice. With each name we pass, the instruments become smaller, more mundane, until finally the instrument dissapears. This implies that the last person on the list uses no instrument but himself. It is in this, that a valuable lesson can be learned.

Other authors have often written about self reliance. A famous example is the 19th century writter Ralph Waldo Emerson, who says, “Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string”. It is precisely when we trust in ourselves that we no longer need any tools outside of ourselves to achieve what we want. It is not always easy to listen to oneself and we often doubt if what we percieve as right is what is right. In truth, this will always be hard to do. We must be completely connected to our inner selves, we must know ourselves and never lie to ourselves in order to be able to trust ourselves. If we achieve this, everything we need to succeed will be within us.

A word of warning: we must always be on the lookout for the difference between self reliance and isolation. The individual that claims to “not need anyone” will never achieve anything worth achieving, while the individual that trusts his own judgement and knows when to give help and when to recieve help will achieve anything he or she proposes. It is not the same thing to be dependent on someone than to be connected to someone and these connections keep us balanced and make our lives worth living.

Ultimately, the lesson to be learned from the image above is this: learn to carry nothing but what is already within you; learn to trust in your inner self and then, you will be able to accomplish anything.